


Kinktober: Mutual Masturbation

by moonmoth (greyvvardenfell)



Series: Kinktober 2019 [23]
Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Body Worship, Come Eating, F/M, Mutual Masturbation, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:20:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23586763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greyvvardenfell/pseuds/moonmoth
Summary: Julian lists what he loves about Reyja when she struggles with RSD.
Relationships: Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Julian Devorak/Original Character(s)
Series: Kinktober 2019 [23]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697680
Comments: 1
Kudos: 14





	Kinktober: Mutual Masturbation

“… so in the end it’s like it didn’t even matter and everyone fought this massive war for nothing! No one’s learned a goddamn thing in a hundred years. People still—”

I cut myself off, realizing a little belatedly that I’m practically yelling at poor Julian in my enthusiasm. He’s been letting me ramble for a long time, my head in his lap as we lounge together on the couch, idly gliding his fingers through my hair until I get too animated to keep up with. I tend to do that, if no one stops me.

He hasn’t stopped me.

Instead, when I look up at him, he’s smiling absently, the dreamiest expression on his face as he watches me talk.

“Julian?”

He stirs as if from a trance, blinking rapidly. “Hmm? What’s that, love?”

Oh no. Was he even listening to me? A familiar pit of shame wells in my stomach, eating away at the confidence I’ve tried so hard to build up over the years. How selfish of me, to yammer on like this without asking if he cared. Even he couldn’t possibly give a shit about all this historical nonsense.

“Nothing,” I say, attempting to keep the tremor out of my voice. But I know I’m not very successful.

Tense silence stretches between us. I turn my head, staring hard at the other side of the room. His strong thighs don’t feel as comfortable as they did a moment ago, though, and I sit up to rub my neck, my mood still plummeting.

A cool, gentle touch replaces mine after several heartbeats of strain. “Darling? Was it something I said?”

I sigh. It won’t help to go silent on him. As much as I’d like to retreat into myself, I ought to apologize, if nothing else.

“Next time, you can just tell me to be quiet rather than let me hold you hostage like this. Sorry.”

The pressure on my spine falls away as Julian drops his hands and I glance at him over my shoulder only to see horrified gray eyes staring back at me.

“Reyja, I would never, in a thousand lifetimes, ever shut you down like that,” he says, his brows furrowed. “I could listen to you talk for hours, my dearest, about anything and everything or nothing at all. I'm— I should be apologizing to you, if I, no, _that_ I made you think otherwise.”

I swallow hard. I know he’s serious; after all, he’s Julian. My Julian. But still…

“You’re not mocking me, are you?”

His jaw drops in dismay. “Of course not!” Anxious, his hands flutter like they want to reach out and reel me back to him, but he doesn’t. Not yet.

I clench my teeth until I feel like I can relax, then slump against the cushions, deflated. “God, I’m so sorry, Juley. I know I’m overreacting. You, of all people, have nothing to apologize for. It’s just that I’ve seen that vacant ‘fuck, I wish she’d stop’ look in so many other pairs of eyes before, but…” I shake my head. “But I’m not sure I know how to stop. Sometimes I wish I could too. It’ll all come spilling out sooner or later, though. Like vomit.”

Julian’s gaze dances over me. Hesitantly, he lets himself rest his hand on my thigh, rubbing slow circles with his palm to test the waters before scooting closer and lifting my chin to look at me fully.

“Rey, your curiosity is so beautiful. The passion you hold for the things that interest you, the light that shines from your eyes when you speak about them, the excitement in your voice…” He trails off, cupping my cheek and smiling softly. “That’s what made me so, ah, so dazed just now. Being in such close proximity to that intensity. It's… well, frankly, it’s one of my favorite things about you, amongst many, many others.”

He brings his other hand up to cradle my face as well. I anchor onto his wrists and lean forward, my muscles loosening in the wake of his warm words.

“Yeah?”

“I would never lie to you, my love. Not now, not ever.”

“I guess… I mean, I wasn’t quite done. Talking about the war. If you really want to hear about it.”

Julian beams and pulls me into a kiss. While we’re still joined, he lowers me back to his lap, twisting to accommodate the angle, and only breaks away when I’m settled again.

“By all means, dearest, please continue!”

——

Later, when I’m washing my face in front of the massive silver-bound mirror Julian bought for me as an anniversary present last year, he comes into the bathroom and leans on the counter beside me, his long legs stretched back to block the door. He waits for me to clear the soap from my eyes before looping his arms around my waist and burrowing under my elbow to press his face against my belly, his breath hot on my bare skin.

I reach for a towel to dry off and chuckle indulgently when he allows himself to be dragged along the stone countertop, loathe to let go now that he’s got me in his embrace.

“What are you doing, Jul?” I ask, petting his hair.

He mumbles something into the fat around my middle and I roll my eyes.

“Sounds serious. Maybe you should talk to someone about that. I hear it’s contagious after a short incubation period.” Hey, if he’s not going to tell me audibly, I’ll make up my own story.

Perplexed, Julian finally lifts his head, though he keeps his mouth and nose against my flesh. I can’t help but laugh again at the look in his eyes, but by the crinkling of the faint crow’s feet around them, he’s happy too. He leaves a lingering, open-mouthed kiss on the side of my belly and turns to rest his cheek on it instead, gazing up at me as his confusion relaxes into contentment.

“Oh, my darling, I was thinking about our conversation earlier, what I said about how, mm, how alluring your natural curiosity is.” He blinks slowly. “And now I find that the more I think, the more I admire about you all around, though there are most assuredly some highlights.”

I raise an eyebrow and touch the side of his face; he nuzzles into my palm, then plants another kiss on my stomach.

“Highlights, huh?”

He nods. His curls tickle even more than his breath did. “I’m afraid you went so long without hearing someone expound upon your good qualities that you can no longer recognize them for what they are. Now, I may not have the Hanged Man’s mark anymore, but certain things I can still cure.” That smile, the one that’s so quintessentially Julian, blossoms across his face. “And this is right up my alley, if I do say so myself.”

I fold my arms over his back and sway, catching sight of us in the mirror when I turn my head. Sometimes I don’t like seeing our disparities: the height difference, how much fatter I am, my round face versus his long one, but tonight we seem like a matched set instead of the odd ones out. I never felt at home anywhere until I met him, and it’s because of how much he loves me that I feel it now. Regardless of what my mind may say, Julian Devorak loves me. And he’s loud, louder than my poisonous thoughts. Loud enough to drown them out with his endless devotion and praise. I have to remember that.

He stands and tucks his hands behind my head, stooping to kiss me. When we break apart, his eyes are lidded, and he runs his tongue over the saliva I left on his lips. But before he can speak, I push myself against his chest; I’m not the only one with something to remember.

“I could say the same thing about you, lovely: too many years with only yourself to listen to. I know for a fact that if I asked you to name some of your own good qualities right now, you’d make a joke and change the subject to avoid doing it.”

He blushes as he tries in vain to think of something to say that won’t follow that template. “Erm… well. Perhaps you have a point there.” Clearing his throat, he glances at our reflections and turns to face the mirror, resting his chin on top of my head and putting his hands to work rubbing my shoulders. “How about this, then: you and I get into bed and start a little volley. That way we’ll both hear what we need to hear.”

Each knot he rubs from my muscles makes me that much more comfortable. Julian’s a damn genius with his hands. “Alright. For you, I’ll do it.”

I can feel him laugh though the sound of it is muffled against my neck as he kisses me once more. “Thank you, darling. I promise I’ll be good and, ahhh… try to stay on task.”

“Aww, now I’m not as excited,” I tease. We unravel and he takes my hand, guiding me all the way into bed. He stays on his haunches for a moment while I get settled, watching me with hooded eyes before he squirms in beside me, parts my legs with his, and runs his hands over my breasts and stomach.

“You’re so beautiful.” He sighs happily, kissing my cheek. “But anyone who looks at you can see that.”

It takes a lot for me to hold back my derisive snort. I’m far from pretty, but he would never let me admit it. My eyes are too small, my skin too blemished, my face too fat to be beautiful. And yet he tells me I am every day, often more than once, like he believes it. Maybe he does. He did say he would never lie to me.

“No, I think the things that truly make me fall more in love with you every day are deeper,” Julian continues. “Your curiosity, yes, but your tenacity too. Ha, even when we met that came in handy, didn’t it?”

All the questing we did in search of answers we never would’ve gotten had I not been such a stubborn, nosy ass… yeah, it came in handy. “You needed me to be tenacious.”

“Mm, I certainly did. How would I have learned that I could stop running if you hadn’t chased me down?”

He showers my chest and neck with kisses, almost cutting himself off in his eagerness. But again, it wasn’t just me helping him.

I lift his head with a nudge to his jaw. His pupils are wide and black, obscuring the gray of his irises when he meets my eyes. “If you weren’t so forthright with your intentions, Juley, I never would’ve pursued you at all. It’s thanks to you we’re here now, not pining for each other somewhere, lonely and alone.”

“Oh, nonsense. All credit goes to the team leader, you know.” He winks at me, grinning broadly.

“No nonsense. And no team leaders, either. This is a partnership of equals.”

He shifts closer and pulls me against him. “Equals,” he repeats, marveling over the word. “I… I know you’re right, darling. My hesitation comes from many, many years of thinking myself unworthy of such a thing, not from you. Never from you in any way at all. Please, it’s important to me that I make that absolutely clear.”

Rolling onto my side, still locked in his arms, I throw one leg over his hips and slide my fingers into his hair. Very gently, I grind against his thigh, pressed between mine, and feel his cock start to stiffen with interest. “I know, Julian,” I whisper. “We both have our issues, don’t we? But they’re so much easier to manage when we have each other.”

His lips find the base of my neck and seek out my collarbone from there, sucking delightful bruises into the thin skin. “So it is,” he murmurs when he breaks free. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I keep rutting against him as his mouth gets greedier, roaming from my forehead to my nipples and back. I’m dripping wet by the time he props himself up on one elbow and cups my cheek again, beaming.

“Love, can I touch you?”

“Mm-hmm. One condition, though.”

He’s learned not to let me say that without verifying what the condition is before agreeing to it. That lesson was more trial by fire than book learning. “I’m all ears.”

“Let me touch you too.”

A familiar whimper, a slight thrust of his hips against mine, and he nods vigorously. “Oh, yes, darling, yes!”

He gasps when I reach down and take hold of his erection, the solid heat of it curved and heavy in my hand. I give his slit a couple of lazy flicks with the pad of my thumb while he repositions himself, trying to find a comfortable angle to pleasure me.

“Erm, could you roll over again, dearest?” he asks, when several tests fail. “If you face the other way, both of us can— ah, perfect!”

We end up curled together like stacked spoons, his arm crossed over mine to reach my clit as I fondle his balls and drag the points of my nails along his shaft. The hair on his chest and stomach tickles my back, he’s pressed so close. He murmurs soft praise into my ear with every pump of my fist over his cock, growing breathier as he gets more and more aroused.

For his part, his own hand never falters. He sets a quick pattern, drawing tight circles around my clit after dipping into my cunt to feel just how wet he made me and shuddering in delight. I make a point of telling him he’s responsible for that, only to have him whine and sink his teeth into my shoulder to keep from cumming right there. Even then, he keeps up the pace he started with.

“Reyja, darling,” he pants, after minutes of nothing but moans and grunts, “I have to tell you something else that — oh, god, do that again! — mm, something else I haven’t put to words yet.”

He’s folded my leg around his hips so I’m almost on top of him, half on our backs and half on our sides, working each other with ever more focused attention.

“What is it?”

Julian groans and wraps his free arm around my torso, kissing the only side of my face he can reach. I turn to offer him my mouth and he takes it greedily, sucking on my tongue and cursing under his breath when he thrusts involuntarily into my hand.

“Oh, the way you love me… How you kiss me at the end of the day and seem so happy to see me in the morning? You do it in your sleep too. Did you know that? Sometimes I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and find myself watching you, because you just look so peaceful, so happy, and— oh!”

He sucks in some air, his thighs shaking as he holds back his orgasm. I let my rhythm slow and he does the same, kneading along my whole sex with the length of his middle and ring fingers.

When he regains his handle on words, he carries on. “You look so peaceful, my heart can barely take it. And then you’ll reach out towards my side of the bed for my hand or, or just to make sure I’m there and as soon as you find me, mmmm…” He sighs, starry-eyed. “You smile that beautiful smile, the one that makes me melt every time I see it. Sometimes you even murmur my name. It’s like you belong with me, and I with you.”

“I do, Juley,” I say breathlessly, arched against his chest. “We do belong together.”

“Oh, love, say it again! Please, please tell me again!”

Desire floods through me. I grind back into Julian’s erection just for a moment while I quickly cover his hand with my own, scooping some of my slick onto my fingers to smooth my stroke. His moan catches in his throat and he increases the pressure on my clit, scratching gently at the bundle of nerves with his blunt fingernails. The sensation makes me tremble as I draw my hand down his cock again, my wetness mixing with the precum already dribbling from his slit.

“I love you so much, Julian,” I tell him. “I belong with you and you belong with me. Nothing and nobody can tear us apart or keep us from each other, no matter what.”

“N-nothing and nobody,” he echoes. “Oh, oh my darling, oh, I’m close! Just a little—”

I tighten my grip on him and almost immediately, he freezes, his teeth clenched around his grunt of release as he spills across my ass.

He doesn’t take long to recover once he’s empty, though he’s still breathing heavily when he kisses my neck and asks me to roll onto my stomach so he can clean me up. I oblige and within moments, his hot tongue and lips are busy making his cum disappear while lavishing attention on my lower back, alternating kisses and licks until I feel a pair of strong hands on my hips and the nuzzling of Julian’s nose in the hair above my ear.

“I love you too, Reyja. More than any words in any language could ever describe.”

One of those strong hands parts my thighs from behind and seeks out my cunt, probing me with a single finger until he finds what he’s looking for, then sliding in with two right away. I’m more than ready for it.

“I love your sense of humor. I love the sweetness it hides. I love the way you sing while you work and talk to the dishes as you wash them.”

He knows me so well, inside and out. It takes only seconds for him to locate that patch of roughness he wants and start to rub it in earnest, matching the motion of his fingers to the swirl of his thumb across my clit.

“I love every inch of your body, from your eyes to your breasts to your hands to your thighs. I love being able to reassure you that yes, I do mean it when I say you’re beautiful, because I know you don’t believe me. Someday you will, darling, just like you made me believe I was a good man…” He falters for a moment, then laughs and changes the angle of his wrist. “Listen to me, going on. But, ha, I love that too. I can honestly say that I love you for helping me become someone worth loving, Rey. Not just anyone could do that, but you… you did.”

Julian lapses into silence then, focusing fully on me. He shifts once more and it’s just what I need. I writhe, hands flexing, legs taut and shaking with muscle spasms, until everything relaxes at once. Whatever sound I make I muffle in my pillow, but my orgasm lasts long enough for me to run out of air and gasp the last of it for Julian to hear. He answers with a pleased hum and I feel warmth and weight against the side of my hip, his unoccupied hand rubbing a soothing circle. When he finally pulls his fingers out after several more minutes of slow, gentle stimulation, the pads are pruned and wrinkly from my wetness. But he grins and sucks each one, savoring the sweet tang.

“Come here, 'Bee,” I beckon, turning onto my back again. Obedient as ever, he crawls to my side and lays down, propping his head on my ribs to gaze fondly at me with the same distant look in his eyes that made me feel so spurned before. But now I see all the love behind it.

“How was I, darling?” One of his eyebrows lifts into its signature suggestive quirk and I trace it with the tip of my thumbnail.

“You have to ask?”

“I don’t 'have’ to, no, but I want to know that I made you happy.”

I sit up just far enough to grab him by the chin and drag him back with me, kissing him hard.

“Of course you did, Juley. You always make me happy.”


End file.
